Movie Review: Baby Driver

I'm not going to beat around the bush, this movie is stupid. I watched this movie a few weeks ago and I hated it. Furthermore, I have no idea how people even like this movie. So, in light of the situation, I'm here to criticize Baby Driver. More than a review of the film itself, I'm going to write about how the movie screwed up because, in all honesty, this movie had a lot of potential.

Before I rip this movie apart, let's talk about the good things. The soundtrack was good, not much to say here. In a movie where music is a huge plot point and so embed in the main character, it was natural that the director and producers focused on the sound design and musical aspects of the movie. On that note, the opening credits were amazing. When Baby (yes, that's he's name) goes to buy coffee, there is a tracking shot of him walking back to his base/office/meeting space. The editing here is ok, but the cinematography, set design, and choreography were superb. It is set to "the Harlem Shuffle" by Bob & Earl. A good selection. Why? It's a good song. I honestly don't think there was a reason tied to character, motivation, or story. The lyrics of the song are hidden in the background and foreground, coming up in sync with the song. This whole sequence was brilliant (and misleading).
Another good thing, the "Tequila" sequence. In this scene, the gang is in a gunfight against a group of undercover cops and here the editing is way better. All in sync and to the rhythm of "Tequila" by The Champs. It's a cool action sequence and pretty much the only one where I got what I was expecting from this movie.

Now, Baby Driver has A LOT of faults and mentioning all of them will make this review the size of the bible so I'll just focus on the big ones. Starting from the one I noticed before I even watched the movie: Making Baby a getaway driver.
This is not an obvious mistake, but it is a missed opportunity. Baby should've been a mercenary, a soldier, a fighter, something with a lot more influence in the plot and action, and freedom of movement. This hinges the film from a production perspective and from a character perspective (which I will discuss later).
When I saw the trailer, I commented to my friends that having Baby be a driver limits the choreography and the musically lead editing. Baby moves and acts according to the music he's listening to. In a car, there's just so much you can do (choreography wise) and if you edit too much, you'll end up looking like a Fast & Furious movie trailer. If Baby were a fighter, on the other hand, there is so much more possibilities for fun action scenes and choreography: Gun Play, CQC, Sword Play, Parkour, Karate, Juijitsu, Ninjitsu, Kung-Fu, etc. So many different fighting styles and disciplines within those fighting styles could've been implemented in ONE SCENE. This also allows the editors and writers to write an action/fight scene with virtually ALL musical genres: Rock, Metal, Punk, Cumbia, Merengue, Folk, Classical, EDM, Hip-Hop/Rap, J-Pop, Reggae. Not to mention the variations between locations and weapons. As a character, this gives Baby a very clear weakness that he has to overcome: without music, the pacing of the battle can be dictated by the enemy giving Baby a clear personal obstacle to overcome in the overarching story.

Second Strike: Baby's Character.
First, his name is stupid. They justify it in the story as just a code name so that if anyone in the group gets caught, no one knows the others' names. Baby, in this scenario, makes sense. He's always the youngest in the heist and he was recruited at a very young age so naturally to his boss and co-workers he would be a baby. What IS stupid is that he uses this unbelievably stupid name outside. If the point of these names are to hide your identities from others and each other, then using it to buy coffee, to meet people, and in your daily life defeats the purpose of this pseudonym. His real name is actually dumber. If you suspend your disbelieve to accept that Baby is an acceptable name in this reality, Baby's real name made me yell "OH COME ON!" in the theaters when I heard it. SPOILERS AHEAD: At the end of the movie, he gets caught and it's revealed  his real name is Myles. Get it? Because he is a driver? Drivers move in MILES per Hour? Sega (circa 1992) called. They want their joke back.

Furthermore, Ansel Elgort was a bad casting choice. I get he is a pretty boy and he can be charming (as proven in The Fault in our Stars) but he cannot play a badass. When he is defiant or tries to stand his ground, I wondered why didn't ANY of these people shot a gun to startle him and put him in his place. He does not give an "action confident" persona at all, and in the "Tequila" action scene it kind of proves that he is indeed not someone who can stand his ground. Another problem Ansel has is energy. In the opening scene, he's supposed to be rocking and jamming to the "Bellbottoms" by The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion while his partners are robbing a bank. God bless this kid because dear lord knows he is trying. In this entire sequence I did not believe for A SECOND he listens to this kind of music, let alone that he had the energy to pull it off. For a character like this, they needed either someone with more energy like Jim Carrey or someone more musically inclined like Johnny Depp (Younger actors, obviously).

Third Sin: Music as a gimmick.
Music plays a big role in this movie, both from a production point of view and a character point of view. From a character perspective, Baby has to be listening to music all the time to die out a ringing in his ears caused by a car accident from when he was a kid. This, supposedly, "keeps him moving". Going back to the point on why he should've been a fighter instead of a driver, I mentioned that making him a driver removed agency from his character. What I meant by that is simply that Baby rarely does anything in the entire movie. He IS the getaway driver, yes, but he is away from the action most of the time. Baby is reluctantly brought into these action scenes which doesn't further his character nor gets him closer to his goals. They advance the plot, but Baby is NOT a part of those advancements. He contributes nothing to the story, to HIS STORY. Baby's goal is to pay his debt to stop being a getaway driver, and by the middle of the film he does. Then he gets brought back for a "last heist" and... I'll get to this point later, but the point is that Baby has no agency in this movie. All actions are done by the characters around him.
This long explanation about Baby's lack of action causes a problem in the editing department. As mentioned before, music plays a big role in this movie from a production stand point and the movie prides itself on "editing to the rhythm of the music" going as far as carefully choreographing action sequences keeping the music in the background in mind (including small things like door slamming). Because of Baby's lack of agency, this editing technique goes from "artistic decision" to "gimmick". The movie never loses an opportunity to hammer home the fact the Baby's character is interlinked to music. Baby is, to this movie its source of music, in a way. However, because Baby is so uninvolved with most of the action, the editing doesn't make sense. In some instances, like in the "Tequila" action scene, Baby is not even looking at the action so it can't even be justified as "they way he views things".
On the editing tangent, the editing of this movie is good but nothing to gush about. The editing was based on a gimmick and marketed itself on being unique. Not only did the promise of "music lead editing" did not deliver (either by a lot of sequences and cuts out of sync (Yes, I noticed them) or this editing being reserved to a couple of scenes), but also this type of editing has been done literally thousands of times (and a million times better) in music videos since the 80's. To those about to argue that music videos are different from movies, back in the 80's a lot of music videos were done as short films with plots and characters, like for example: Thriller, Billie Jean, and Take on Me. Furthermore, there is a whole genre of film that is forced to do this type of editing all the time: Musicals. So congratulations on Baby Driver for winning a "Best Editing" award for stuff you see on Glee. If you want to see the editing I was expecting from this film, check out the YouTube Channel TheBestAMVsOfAllTime, or the following videos:
- "AMV - With Lightning Speed - Bestamvsofalltime Anime MV" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUtBo911p-Q
- "AMV - A Piece of Toast - Bestamvsofalltime Anime MV" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAninNKS2a8


The Final Nail in the Coffin: The ENTIRE Third Act.
This section, as you probably assumed, is riddled with spoilers (not that is any loss anyway). As mentioned before, Baby has a dept he needs to pay by being the getaway driver for this crime boss. Halfway through the movie, he manages to pay his dept. Baby starts he's new life and tries to start a relationship with his almost girlfriend Deborah (played by Lily James) when suddenly his boss Doc (played by Kevin Spacey) recruits him for another heist. After Deborah is threatened, Baby reluctantly accepts. He's teammates for this heist are Bats (played wonderfully by Jamie Foxx), Buddy (played by John Hamm), and Darling (played by latina Megan Fox wannabe, Eiza Gonzales). These are our characters for the climax. When they get to the heist, Baby stays outside (as per usual) while Darling, Buddy, and Bats rob a post office. While he is waiting, he sees a lady who works at the post office they're robbing walking in and then Baby has a change of heart. He warns her non-verbally to not go inside. When his teammates run in the car, Baby refuses to drive. Bats threatens Baby to move, so he does impaling Bats with a steal beam on a construction truck. Why did Baby have this sudden change of heart? I don't know. This is the problem with the whole third act. Character motivations are not well established so you don't care of whether the character succeeds or not. To add insult to injury, the climax goes on for way too long. Not only do you not care what happens, you are bored and stuck in an action sequence where you cannot get invested in, The only character with a clear motivation is Buddy. After Darling is killed by the police, he chases Baby fueled by revenge. Since he loses him and tries to lose the police as well, he goes after Deborah to lure him in. To exemplify the problem with the film from this moment on, please read the following sequence of events:
Baby shows up, they have a conversation, Baby shoots Buddy, but decides not to kill him, runs away with Deborah, stops by Doc to get his tapes back, Doc has a change of heart and lets him grab 1 tape (the one Baby's mother sings in), they leave the building, the police arrives, Doc has a second change of heart and helps Baby and Deborah escape, they don't escape, its not the police but Buddy in a police car, Doc is killed, there is a chase, Baby lures Buddy into a trap, Deborah helps, Buddy falls down on a car in flames 7 stories below, the car goes boom, they drive to a bridge, Baby offers himself and tells Deborah not to stop him.
Was this exciting? Doesn't it feel like it should be? This is exactly how the third act feels: we're moving from one thing to the next, with no stakes and no emotion. It's boring, all because the movie failed to make me care.
After this dragged out sad excuse for a climax, there is a trial montage were there are testimonies from people who are only there to spoon-feed to us that he was, after all, a good kid all along. We find out Baby's real name as he is reading a letter from Deborah and we get probably the STUPIDEST ENDING I've seen. Baby serves his time in Jail, walks out and finds Deborah wearing a dress in front of a car, all in tune with a 1950's style/vibe. This was a fantasy Baby had and honestly I burst out laughing when I saw it, but seeing it being used, SHOT FOR SHOT to the point of it even being black and white (like in his fantasy) and fading into color, was just ridiculous. This was such a stupid way to end a story. To make it even worse, they couldn't even do the "driving into the sunset" cliche well. They just.... drive off.
Let me fix this ending right here: STEAL THE ENDING FROM THE ACCOUNTANT. That would've been a WAY more powerful and emotional ending than this pathetic conclusion. He Leaves Deborah at a motel or something and leaves her his mother's tape or one of his iPods, as he escapes captivity listening to one of the songs about Deborah. Leave it open ended on whether he got caught in the end or not. This would have not fixed the climax but it would've at least showed some attempt at trying to end on a high note. Instead we got a by the numbers "guy gets the girl" ending that they couldn't even do right.

Conclusion: This movie Blows.
Baby Driver SUCKS. I will admit that I was actually enjoying this movie all the way until the third act. Not on how good it was, but on how bad it was. The Mike Meyers Mask scene was comedy gold. If this were a Action Comedy, I wouldn't have minded and would've kind of excused the lame ending. But according to most sites, this was a Crime Film/Thriller. This is a THRILLER? You are telling me we ARE supposed to take this movie seriously!? Clearly this movie wanted to be a Kingsman: The Secret Service type movie, but Kingsman never took itself too seriously. The climax and the ending was WAY over the top and this is why Kingsman works but Baby Driver doesn't. This movie had a LOT of potential and was given to a group of people who did not have the imagination make this concept justice. I have discussed this with many people and they all come back defending this movie with the same argument: "Oh, but it's Edgar Wright". Newsflash: It doesn't matter. No director, not even Steven Spielberg or Stanley Kubrick, could've made this movie good. Why? Because this movie was deficient from its conception stages. If the base is flawed, the whole structure will be flawed and eventually collapse. IN SHORT: This movie is NOT good, do NOT buy into the hype, and do NOT waste your time watching this garbage.

Song Review: "Despacito" by Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee (ft. Justin Beiber)

I used to think the world made sense... or maybe it does and this just came in a time of weakness. Maybe is a sign of perdition and impending doom. I don't know what is what anymore. It feels like the laws of reality have been bent beyond logical recognition and what's left is a sight only Lovecraft could've barely imagined. How has it come to this?

For those who don't know, I've lived in Latin America for 18 years and then moved to the US in 2014. Back in the early 2000's, Daddy Yankee was one of, if not, the biggest star out there and Reggaeton was the most popular musical genre. People loved it, but for others who were a little bit more "musically cultured" Reggaeton was a cancer inducing musical abomination and Daddy Yankee was at the forefront. In 2010, Reggaeton seemed to have slowly died off but another cancer surged in its place: Justin Bieber. Was it as bad as everyone thought? Maybe we overreacted a bit (specially since we didn't know it could get to Jacob Sartorius levels of bad), but at the time, it was pretty painful to listen to. Now in 2017, I've been noticing in my FaceBook feed something becoming a little bit of a meme: a song called "Despacito". I was noticing dance tutorials, memes, videos, and so many different posts about it, so I decided to look it up and see what the deal was. "Despacito" is a song by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee released in January 13th, 2017. In April 17th, 2017, Justin Bieber joined the duo in a remix where he lent his vocals for the song and his own verse in English at the beginning. This is going to be a disaster.


To my surprise and beyond all logical reasoning, "Despacito" is actually a pretty great song. For starters, it has more personality, energy, and, dare I even say, passion. Anyone that has been keeping up with my reviews will know that one of my main complains with pop music last year and part of this year is the droning, white-noise like beats of Hip-Hop/Rap/Trap. Artists like Migos, Rae Sremmurd, Machine Gun Kelly, DJ Khaled sound stagnated, lifeless. Even pop artists in general like Twenty-One Pilots's "Ride" and "Stressed Out", Rihanna's "Work" just sound like lifeless noise. It's gotten so bad that I've praised songs with a glimpse of energy and personality for the sole reason of "it sounds like something". "Despacito" in this case is comparable to a supernova of personality. It's instantly recognizable and you will not mistake it for anything else. Secondly, in the original version, Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee sound like they are having fun singing. They are enjoying themselves which translates into a very contagious "feel good vibes" and passion that can be felt through the vocals and music. "Despacito" is a catchy, feel good song with passionate vocals and adequate instrumentality and perfect delivery from the artists involved. The guitar work, the fills, is just gorgeous. The best part, arguably, is that guitar solo at the beginning. It's a few seconds long, but it's such a delightful latin riff that invites you to listen. The song, however, is not without fault. The song is written based on the 4 chords of pop structure and when the Reggaeton starts hitting hard it is a turn-off to me. Overall, I believe that part of the appeal of the song is the simplicity of the music in exchange for a contagious energy and passion. Allowing the rhythm to easily sink in and take over our bodies.

One of the biggest complains about Reggaeton back when I lived in Latin America was about how vulgar they all were. Basically, they were all aggressive sex jams by meat-headed singers expressing either how hot you were or how they wanted to sleep with you (which I just realized it sounds exactly like Bro-Country music). "Despacito" doesn't fall that far from the tree. It is a sex jam about guys telling you how they want to sleep with you. It's not as explicit as the Reggaeton songs of old, but there's no room to misinterpret it for a love song either. "Despacito" at the very least does have some sense of poetry and both Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee do properly convey the sentiment of "making love to you slowly" and "enjoying the ride" (even if some lyrics are very stupid and make you want to cringe). "Despacito", for those who don't know, means "Slowly" and the song is about precisely that: I want to make love to you, slowly. There's really not much to comment about the lyrics or the song topic in general. It is what it is.

The first time I heard this song (around June), I was sure it was going to be one of the worst pieces of garbage I've had ever listened to, and to this day, I'm still surprised how good it turned out to be. I heard the Justin Bieber remix first (like most people I assume considering the song didn't became popular until he joined in the mix) and at first I liked it better than the original. However, the more I listened to both versions, I began to like the original better. While the Bieber remix is still good and the version that made this song popular, Justin Bieber is a flavorless singer and adds nothing to the mix. It's like a glass of water with your meal: doesn't change the quality of your food. So everything I've said about the original, technically remains true to the remix as well. Another point to note is that despite the slow sex jam theme of the lyrics, the song is not slow. As a friend argued, this doesn't make much sense, artistically, because of this theme of "taking things slowly". I would like to argue the opposite. While the song is not a "slow sex jam" like songs you'd find listening to Bedroom Jazz, it is a good "sex song" because of the contrast. This song is about pacing and enjoying oneself and the music reflect that. I know this song has been overplayed, but don't let the overexposure fool you. "Despacito" is still a good song, and most definitely better than anything thrown at us by the horsemen of the Trap-pocalypse.

Song Review: Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes

I was going to ignore this song. Just let it be. All I thought of it was "a mindless stupid woman pandering song by some pretty boy with no talent. No need to waste my time on this". One day, I was talking to a friend who really likes this song and we broke into an argument and that's when I really started to realize that this song is not your ordinary Bad Song. "Treat You Better" by Shawn Mendes is a terrible song which at first glance is easy to dismiss, but upon further inspection it just gets worse and worse. The more I think about it, the more suicide sounds like a reasonable solution, so let's dive right into it.

http://s12.favim.com/orig/160728/stitches-
shawn-mendes-treat-you-better-Favim.com-4562997.jpeg

There's no Mercy for this one. Problem number 1: It's a complete rip-off. "Treat You Better" is a carbon copy of "Stitches" (another Shawn Mendes hit song). "Stitches" was also terrible, but at the very least it can say it was somewhat original. In fact. I was intrigued the first time I heard it (until Shawn Mendes started singing and that's when I quit). The first time hearing "Treat You Better" I knew exactly what was going on. Fool me once, Mendez, but you can't full me twice. While I'm still comparing these 2 terrible songs, "Stitches" at least had had a sound that set it apart from the other songs on the radio. Mendes's guitar on "Stitches" has a clear, natural tone which truly stands out when your competition are Rappers and Hip-Hop artists. "Treat You Better" should might as well have been played on a synth. No joke, if you don't pay attention, you won't notice the difference between a guitar or a synth pretending to be a guitar.

Problem number 2: Who produced this song? That person needs to be fired. The transitions are sloppy and very dry (or rather, there are none). It simply doesn't work. The song starts with a kind of mournful/sorrow tone, a soft expression of Mendes's feelings. On the chorus, he pumps the energy and asserts himself. The transition from this soft mourning to this strong assertion is as smooth as sandpaper. That's not the worst part. After the first chorus (which in musical terms would be sung in Forte) it jumps right back into the next verse which is sung, again, softly (Piano). It feels like a car crashing into a wall: it's sudden, surprising, and very unpleasant. Could he not play the song smoothly so the editors and producers had to awkwardly paste the song together?

http://sev.h-cdn.co/assets/16/20/980x490/landscape-
1463601822-10349-svtn-shwn-mj-
shot-09-09-118-v2-rgb.jpg

Problem #3: Shawn Mendes's voice is, how to put it... makes me want to bash my head with a sledgehammer. In fairness, it's not the worse thing ever and there are worse singers out there with a more successful career than him and Mendes has had a song or 2 where he sounds fairly descent. Mendes singing in "Treat You Better" is no different from a first grader throwing a temper tantrum and whining to get a toy. I'll get to the lyrics after I'm done with the musical atrocities, but basically this is a sad/frustrating song. Mendes's nasal delivery makes it sound so immature and so fake. It sounds like he is begging for attention and pity. However, the crowning achievement of the song goes to the chorus. At the end of the chorus, Mendes yells "Better than he can". That wail he calls "singing" is very out of place. It grabs your attention as you think to yourself "what did he just say?" and listen to the same screech over and over again trying to decipher the words behind that jaw dropping bad whine.



The lyrics makes me want to punch this kid in his whiny face. If the stereotype of the "pretty pop boy" and the title "Treat You Better" didn't tip you off, the song is about a girl who is with another guy and Mendes is trying to tell her that he is the better option for her.

https://www.directlyrics.com/img/upload/shawn-treat-you-better.jpg

First off, a few years ago, a trend began to pop up when a group of self proclaimed "nice guys" started voicing their outrage when women would prefer, for example, the jerk over them "gentlemen". Overtime, the only thing these "nice guys" proved is that they are as shallow as the guys they were criticizing which makes their claims of being "nice guys" insincere. "Treat You Better" reeks of this self indulging pat on the back, insecurity, and jealousy.  Lyrically, the first issue is the assumption that her boyfriend is not right for her. There's a lot of trash talking to this guy but not once is there a reason given. Is he abusive? I don't know, he doesn't say. Even if he were abusive to her, or not right for her for whatever reason, his solution is "Date me instead". Whether her boyfriend is objectively awful or not, Mendes is claiming that she is in an emotional turmoil and he is strongly asserting that she should date him? That sounds a lot like emotional manipulation to me. Taking advantage of a girl's low point to get HIS satisfaction. Does that sound like a "gentleman" to you? Some might say that he is doing it "for her sake" which I will accept if someone can answer this: Why is he asking her to date him? If he cared so much for her emotional well being, he would tell her to brake up with her boyfriend. However, he would also allow her to get herself back on her feet where she can make rational decisions as he stays on the sideline for support, like a gentleman and a true friend. That's the other problem of this song. Shawn Mendes is a huge hypocrite. He claims to be a gentlemen while trash talking a girl's boyfriend giving no real justification for his claims and emotionally manipulating her to date him instead. Mendes sings about how awful this guy is and how much of a saint he is. This is not a love song, this is an anthem of Jealousy and Insecurity.

https://lyricfablog.files.wordpress.com/2016/
06/shawn-mendes-treat-you-better-lyrics.jpg

It's baffling to me that people actually find this song romantic. Why would anyone think that? Because he is Shawn Mendez: a pretty boy with money. A fragile, broken, pretty boy with loads of money from his concert and record sales. A perfect subject for women to run to him and comfort his broken little wee heart. BULLSHIT. I told myself I would never curse when writing a review but this song deserves it. "Treat You Better" is poorly written song with mediocre music, god awful delivery and poor production, and that is ignoring the fact that it is a shameless ripoff of another Shawn Mendes song. The true problem, however, lies here: Not only is Mendes emotionally manipulating the feelings and emotions of the girl in the song, he is manipulating the feelings and emotions of his audience. All for the same reason: He got what he wanted. In the end, he probably got the girl just as he got the money, loyalty, and love of millions of vulnerable fans. "Treat You Better", a song of a hypocrite manipulating a girl to get laid, hit #1 on the Pop Charts. What does this say about us as a society? As a conclusion, I would like to address the Shawn Mendes fans: You truly deserve better and I'm sure you'll find hundreds of actually talented artists who will treat you better than he did.

First Impression (Movie Review): La La Land

http://hygall.com/files/attach/images/
82/885/977/003/2f825cfeadaa7e9e19c6afbbd3850645.jpeg

I am writing this literally 5 minutes after I walked out the movie theater. "La La Land" is a MUST see. I don't do movie reviews often, even if  I wanted to. There have been other movies I've wanted to talk about but never had the chance to, but "La La Land" I just HAD to talk about and comment about it.

"La La Land" is the story of a Pianist named Sebastian (Played by Ryan Gosling) and an Actress named Mia (Played by Emma Stone) who fall in love with each other as they try to live their dreams. Mia can't find a role making it impossible for her to become a big name actress and Sebastian is stuck playing a boring setlist in a restaurant where no one listens to him. After they meet, they serve as support for each other, Sebastian encouraging Mia to write her own play and Mia encouraging him to accept Keith's (played by John Legend) offer to join his band.

To me, the plot is pretty standard, but purposefully standard. First of all, there's a BIG "Golden Age of Cinema" feel to the movie as a whole. The music is mostly Jazz, the transitions are very "old school" (with a lot of fades), and the premise is basically "boy meets girl" and "The American Dream" story arcs in one, and maybe is just me but there are a various elements in the story that are borrowed from "Casablanca". All of these elements make the movie feel like an homage to Old Hollywood classics, and a simple a compelling plot fits this mold. All of these elements, however, are properly stylized so it doesn't feel/look like a repackaging old stuff, but instead something familiar but new. Another thing that I love about this movie is the simple way they divided the Story arcs. The movie opens in the holiday season, then it cuts through the four seasons and ends in winter. The holiday season works nicely as a prologue, and Spring, Summer, and Fall are the 3 acts, which come together nicely on the Resolution in Winter. Again, simple but creative and familiar.
This movie relies heavily on character due to the simplicity of its story. The chemistry of Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling is perfect in this movie. Without the chemistry between them, this movie would've fall apart very quickly. Mia and Sebastian are characters you get to know and love. You know what they want, who they are, and never does an action feel out of character. One thing that I love is a funny parallel between Mia and Sebastian and Jazz music. In the movie, Sebastian explains that Jazz came to be when musicians in New Orleans couldn't understand each other because they spoke different languages. Music was how they communicated. Mia is an actress that loves movies and knows nothing about music and Sebastian is a musician who loves Jazz but knows nothing about movies. Just like the musicians in New Orleans, Mia and Sebastian didn't speak each others' lingo, but it was the overall goal and determination that draws them together. I particularly loved this parallel between the characters' relationship and Jazz music because it does help bring together the music closer to the story. Almost as if music is not a tool to tell the story, nor is it a plot device, but rather an integral part of the story and characters. To me, besides an homage to the Golden Age of Cinema, "La La Land" is a well written Jazz love song.

http://www.indiewire.com/wp-content/
uploads/2016/12/lll_d41-d42_06803_r.jpg

Nothing is perfect, sadly, and this movie has its fair share of problems. On the overall, the movie is great but there are some details that to me are distracting. Since most of these are details, I will discuss a few plot points. Before I dive into these details, here are a few problems of the movie in general:
It's a musical with a big Broadway feel to it. When it breaks into song is not supposed to be real, it is supposed to feel big. For example, the opening song is a group of people stuck in traffic, they sing and dance, and then go back in their cars. If you are not a fan of musicals in general where people break into song or have a dance number for no reason, then you might not like this movie. Other than that, I feel the camera work wasn't that great. It was good, but not pitch perfect as to be expected from a high budget film. I think there were one or two shots that were slightly out of focus for no reason. In some music numbers, specially those with large amounts of people, the camera moved too much trying to capture everything making it hard to make out and appreciate what was going on. One example of this is the party scene that happens before Mia meets Sebastian. Another example is a scene where Sebastian is playing at a club and Mia is dancing. The camera pans from Sebastian to Mia and back in a call-response manner. The first time the camera pans from one character to the other is cool, but the more it pans between the two and the faster the song is going, the less effective this style is. By the 4th time it pans, I felt the camera man was struggling to keep up with the tempo which not only is it distracting but also could've been done through editing with a lot more ease and more accurate cuts.

http://cdn3-www.comingsoon.net/assets/
uploads/gallery/la-la-land/lalaland0001_0.jpg

This is a personal pet peeve and this is a detail from the plot, so Spoiler Alert: When Sebastian goes and plays with Kieth and his band, who seem to be all trained Jazz musicians, Kieth incorporates electronic music into the song and sounds terrible. It is supposed to sound terrible, I get it. We, the audience, are supposed to understand that this is not what Sebastian wants to do and to him this sounds like a butchering of Jazz music as an art, but he has to do it because its a possible steady source of income. The problem is that the electronic beat is off tempo, and added very lazily to the song they are playing. In fact, later in the movie, the band plays live and sound nothing close to what they were trying to do in that recording session. Kieth later argues that Jazz is dying because no one is listening, so he is trying to revive Jazz by incorporating more modern elements. There is a way to do this right. There's a genre called Electro Swing and it is amazing! When Keith tries to justify his musical decision, it seems that's what he is going for, but again the beat was so lazily added it makes no sense. If this was a work in progress, he wouldn't have sounded so confident in the recording session about something that sounded so obviously terrible. I know what the purpose of the scene is, I get it. However, there is a way to convey the same message without having to demonize the opposing point of view (specially if you are trying to sell a single out of it). By this point in the story, we know how Sebastian feels about joining this band and about Jazz in general. Adding electronic music to a song is more than enough to tell the idea without having to make the music sound purposely terrible.

https://pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com/
2016/08/la-la-land.jpg?w=670&h=377&crop=1

SPOILER SECTION: I labeled this part as a spoiler section because I'm going to discuss the ending. First, let's get this out of the way: This is a great ending. I feel like the entire final scene is a summary of "Casablanca". Having Mia come from Paris was subtle enough, but having her walk in to the club that Sebastian owns years after they parted ways and then have him play this movie's equivalent of "As Time Goes By" is no coincidence. After the musical number, Mia leaves with her husband as she gazes back at Sebastian. They look at each other and with a final goodbye, they part on their own separate ways, just like in "Casablanca". I love this ending not only because of the similarities to "Casablanca" but also because this is such an emotional scene, and properly conveyed silently. No dialogue. It is perfect... except for the musical number. It is instrumental, but it is a dance sequence that summarizes the entire movie and explores an alternative version where Sebastian and Mia end up together. As beautiful as this dance number is, it is completely unnecessary and overkill. Instead of adding to the emotion, it takes away from it by spoon feeding us what we wanted to see. Everything that needed to be said was said with two things: The looks they give each other and the song. This was a beautiful, bittersweet, emotional and powerful ending that's cut short for fan service. That is what this dance sequence feels like: fan service. Amazing visuals, music, and choreography of what WE wanted to see. It's sad not seeing Mia and Sebastian end up together, yes, but do you know who else we didn't see end up together? Rick and Ilsa from "Casablanca" which this ending has borrowed a lot from. Another example, Jack and Rose from "Titanic". My point is: we don't need to be spoon fed, and there is no need to compromise a ending to please an audience.

As a conclusion, "La La Land" is a MUST WATCH. It's definitely worth your time and money. This is a movie with a compelling story, lovable characters, amazing music, amazing dance sequences, and outstanding sets and visuals, and overall, a love song to the Classics of Cinema. "La La Land" will not disappoint your expectations!

Band Overview: Diablo Swing Orchestra

If you grew up a listening to Heavy Metal in a very religious family and/or community, you probably heard that Heavy Metal (just like Rock n' Roll before it) was "the Devil's music". If you are like me and looked at the Lord of Darkness's character, you most likely imagined that this cunning and mischievous demon was a lot more elegant and sophisticated, which made Jazz music a more fitting musical choice for his character. Personally, I like to imagine that if Lucifer listened to either or both these genres, Diablo Swing Orchestra would be his favorite band. Formed in 2003, Diablo Swing Orchestra (or DSO) is one of the best bands I've heard in the Heavy Metal scene in the new millennium and certainly one of the most interesting. Although having a short 3 album discography, DSO's blend of Opera, Swing, Jazz, and Symphonic Metal are a marvel of a spectacle that never ceases to amaze. In 2016, they announced they would release their 4th album. I truly believe this is quite the underrated band which I think deserve more attention, and with a new album coming up, I believe there is no better time to talk about the wonder of DSO's music.

Diablo Swing Orchestra is Swedish octet that debuted with their first album "Butcher's Ballroom" in 2006. This is a very dark and experimental album which aligns with a fittingly dark mythology about the band's formation. First impressions are important and they nailed theirs with "Balrog Boogie": a perfect blend of Heavy Metal, Swing, and Opera. The song immediately grabs you with a light baseline setting the dark tone and then sucks you in as the trumpets and guitars kick in swinging with all the force and fury of dancing  demons. Annlouice Lögdlund's vocals are mystifying and powerful. Going from soothing to bombastic in true operatic fashion. The song is sung in latin adding to the mysticism of the band's image. On their Sophomore effort, "Sing-along Songs for the Dammed and Delirious" (2009) they upped the ante. "A Tap Dancer's Dilemma" kicks in with a drum riff borrowed from famous Swing musician Benny Goodman's "Sing Sing Sing". DSO took everything that made "Balrog Boogie" and took it to the next level, by incorporating acoustic guitars, brass, a piano solo, and a call-response dynamic from a male lead singer and a female choir. This song is my favorite DSO song by far, and has always reminded me of Tim Burton films ("Corpse's Bride" in particular). This is the perfect blend of strange, dark and playful making you want to swing and dance with the devil under the pale moonlight. This is what makes DSO so great. On their 3rd album "Pandora's Piñata" they perfected this formula in "Voodoo Mon Amour". I decided to use these 3 songs (the first track on their respective albums) to exemplify what they do best: a dark musical cocktail with so many different flavors blended perfectly together. However, Heavy Metal Swing is not the only recipe they have. The biggest problem when talking about what makes DSO so great is that every song has its twist. "Rancid Romance" is a Tango, "Poetic Pitbull Revolutions" has more of a Spanish/Flamenco feel, "Guerrilla Laments" have more of the Latin Poly-rhythms, and "D'angelo" is a straight up opera while other songs like "Memoirs of a Roadkill" are completely experimental and Avant-garde. All of the songs are different but somehow they keep their sound and tone, making each song sound in place. I've showed this band to a lot of people and not one person has disliked them. Anyone who likes good music will like DSO because of their music, unique sound, musicianship, blend of genres, lyrics, mythos, creativity, or all of the above. There is something for everyone.

Sadly, nothing is perfect and DSO has its fair share of problems. DSO may be one of the best bands I've heard in Rock and Metal alike in the new millennium, but I would never call them my favorite band and I doubt a grand majority would. In short, they lose the audience's attention. This problem is most evident in their first album "Butcher's Ballroom". While the first track, "Balrog Boogie", is a killer swing track, the rest of the songs become more experimental, away from the conventional. In a way I like it because it feels like a slow descent into madness, but under this idea, "Sing-along Songs for the Dammed and Delirious" did it a lot better. At some point the songs in "Butcher's Ballroom" start to sound as filler songs whereas in "Sing-along Songs for the Dammed and Delirious" might be strange and experimental but in a way that a common listener can more easily understand and relate. It's hard to explain due to the nature of the band's music and the fact that I'm comparing 2 entirely different sounds to make a point, which is both a pro and a con of DSO. Their music is an experience, it has to be heard to be understood. "Pandora's Piñata" I think it may not be as experimental. Not to say that it is more tailored towards the mainstream or that is less creative, on the contrary. DSO still push their music forward and see what they can do musically and lyrically and what works and what doesn't. The way they do it in "Pandora's Piñata" is, however, more comprehensible to the common listener. Professional musicians can understand all of the musical complexities in the songs but the casual listener doesn't need to understand these complexities to enjoy the music.



Conclusion: Anyone who hasn't listened to or heard about Diablo Swing Orchestra is missing out. With all the mediocrity and boring music circulating on the radio today, we need more bands like Diablo Swing Orchestra in our lives. A band with a high level of trained, experienced, creative, and talented musicians and songwriters delivering unique and strange but fun and enjoyable tunes. What else do you want? While their more experimental/Avant-Garde music tends to lose audiences, that is mostly on "Butcher's Ballroom". DSO learned from their experiences and tried new things and improved on their subsequent albums. That being said, I am extremely excited for their next album  Right now, I'm wondering only one thing: To whom do I have to sell my soul to to get it?

I'd recommed their 3 albums, but here are a few songs to start with:
-Balrog Boogie
- A Tap Dancer's Dillema
-Voodoo Mon Amour
-Justice for Saint Mary

-Bedlam Sticks
-Memoirs of a Roadkill
-Rancid Romance
-Honey Trap Aftermath
-Rag Doll Physics
-Poetic Pitbull Revolutions

Song Review: I Don't Wanna Live Forever by Zayn & Tailor Swift

"I Don't Wanna Live Forever" is by 2 artists I used to like that now are either a hit or miss. Zayn, a former member of One Direction who proved himself nothing but filler noise for better artists. Tailor Swift, a very talented songwriter who demonstrated a lot of potential from a young age while slowly moving away from her Country roots to become the next Pop Princess. The song being used as either the promo or theme song for the sequel to a terrible movie based on a terrible fan fiction of a horrible book performed by these 2 should be a recipe for disaster. However, what I got instead was truly unexpected.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/3KyzjghWsao/maxresdefault.jpg

This song is actually pretty good. The music is clear. The beat is tight. The vocals are being sung by people who are demonstrating that they can, at the very least, carry a tune. I'm very pleased with this song and before I explain why, I will address a small detail about the song that might become a problem down the line: it is very reminiscent of "Starboy" by The Weeknd. To clarify, "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" is NOT ripping off "Starboy" (in my opinion). "Starboy" has a darker, more somber tone while "I Don't Wanna Live Forever"  is not happy per say but does have brighter tones. The "Oh"s in the background are a really nice touch. In fact, the vocals in general are very well delivered. I don't know if its the editing or their actually singing but Zayn's and Tailor's voices sound really rich and full, helped by layered vocals and good harmonizing. At first, I didn't feel like Zayn's falsetto sounded good, but you get used to it as the song goes on. However, it is a huge relief when Zayn comes back to his vocal range and sounds much better. Tailor on the other hand, doesn't have that problem. The song seems to be written for her because she hits the high notes and the low notes almost naturally. "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" is in Tailor's range and it shows. Yes, the music is still very light and ambiance-like but, just like "Starboy",  the reasons why this song works are:
1) It has a clear and distinct melody, rhythm, chord progression, and beats. Unlike "Pillowtalk" by Zayn or "Black Beatles" by Rae Sr, "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" is a completed piece.
2)The energy and passion that the instruments lack are being delivered by the vocals (main and backing). "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" sounds likes a painful epiphany and a song of surrendering, in contrast "Work" (by Rihanna) sounds like a drunken slur.

https://genius.com/Zayn-and-taylor-swift-i-dont-wanna-live-forever-lyrics

If the music sounds like sadness and pain, how do the lyrics state this idea? In a way, you could say this is a very pretentious Break-up Song. The concept of eternal life being a curse rather than a blessing is nothing new. One of my favorite interpretations of this in music is by the Japanese band Iron Attack!'s "~Aeternitas Ludology~". I wasn't expecting Tailor Swift and Zayn Malik of all people to dive into this deep of a philosophical analysis about life, death, and immortality, but some of the lines in "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" evoke this imagery. The chorus opens up with "I don't wanna live forever 'cause I know I'll be living in vain". This line evokes and expresses a huge personal epiphany. There is no point in living forever. With no end, everything becomes meaningless, just like the girl's desire revenge in "~Aeternitas Ludology~". Then you hear the rest of the song and realize that this is about a break up, which takes that really brilliant lineturns it into a whine of an angsty teenager. For example when Zayn sings "It's just a cruel existence like there's no point hoping at all" which comes right after "Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls Hoping you'd call". I still really like this song but the context does not merit this level of angst. These brilliant lines about meaning and meaninglessness in life being centered on a significant other is just a bad message and take away from their brilliance. Break ups are painful, indeed, but there's no need to turn into Kierkegaard.

Conclusion? I still like this song, a lot. I think the music is very well put together even if the lyrics are a little whinny. I will probably even download this song on my iPod after I'm done writing this review. In general, I give this song confident thumbs up (even if it is symbolic of a terrible sequel of an already terrible book that's coming up)

Song Review: Paris by The Chainsmokers

http://youredm.youredm1.netdna-cdn.com/
wp-content/uploads/2016/05/the_chainsmokers-15674-759x500.jpg?x97231

Hello everyone and welcome back to reviewing mediocre pop charting music! Last week I was excited to look and see Ed Sheeran's name back in the Top 10. To my surprise not only was he not even in the Hot 100, but "Treat You Better" (Shawn Mendez's blatant rip-off of his slightly better yet still terrible other hit "Stitches") is on the 23rd spot and "Juju on that Beat (Tz Anthem)" is #11 on the charts. I bashed my head against my desk for 15 minutes (I'm not joking) in hopes of escaping the realization that this is what humanity has come to become.  Fortunately, my prayers had been answered and "Shape of You" is now sitting in it's righteous pop chart throne. I'm not going to review the #1 song in the country because I already reviewed it, nor will I review the second biggest song in the country "Bad and Boujee" by Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert (which by the way, as a song is better than the rest generic rap but it's still terrible). Instead, I'm going to review the newest release by one of last year's biggest acts: "Paris" by The Chainsmokers. Why did I make this decision? First, the name. I asked some friends who should I review next and no one knew who Migos was, but they all liked The Chainsmokers. Secondly, after listening both songs, "Paris" is slightly more interesting than "Bad and Boujee" (and just like with Shawn Mendez, "slightly" meaning "barely").

http://is2.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/Music111/v4/
cf/d8/26/cfd82644-646c-53ec-6f4e-3719fa91dcdb/
source/1200x1200-75.jpg

I don't know how many times you can say something is dull before it gets, well, dull. Music is 2016 was so bad I feel my standards for new music have been significantly lower in desperate attempts to grab whatever I can find. At least in American mainstream, the music scene was either dull ambiance with a beat which were too boring to get ANYTHING out of, or songs that actually sounded like something and sucked. So pick your poison. "Paris" is a continuation of this thread and, probably because my bar has been set so low, I don't mind it. It has more energy than most songs in 2016 and just like "Closer" it has more lyrical depth than most songs in 2016. Musically, however, there's a lot of a clutter in this song. There's too much going on and its not letting anything breath. I can't hear what the piano is trying to play, for instance. I know it's a slight variation of the 4 Chords of Pop structure (D-A-Bm-G), but when I figured out the bassline the chord progression seems to be G-Bm-A-F#m. And when I play it with the song, I can play G-D-A-Bm, G-D-Bm-A, G-Bm-A-F#m, G-Bm-A-F#/D, etc. Basically, any variation of the 4 Chords structure will sound good if you play it in the song, that's how much noise there is. I've tried to find 1 variant that sounds completely off  and couldn't find it as long as it starts with G. What am I trying to say here? Not only is this song uninspired but cluttered, almost as if The Chainsmokers knew how uncreative this song is and tried to hide with tons of tracks, sounds, riffs, and beats. Another problem that everyone has beaten until death is how they CAN'T sing. No exception here. The voice sounds sore, as if they physically can't sing. I will let this pass, however, because this has been a complaint in a lot of their songs. At this point, is not a matter of vocal talent anymore, that's just their sound. To me is like complaining about Bob Dylan's voice or Jimmy Hendrix's wah-wah and distortion. If you don't like it, that's fine, but that's their sound and changing it would result in a completely different artist. Any positives? Despite The Chainsmokers's inability to sing, I do like the vocal melodies and every time I listen to the song the more these riffs and melodies grow on me. They are very catchy but not "Closer" catchy. "Closer" will latch to your brain for days like a merciless parasite despite the verses being so forgettable. "Paris" is not that catchy but as a whole it is a better constructed song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhU9MZ98jxo

The music was very uninteresting, but the lyrics did catch my eye. The song has a "desperate lovers" vibe, but I'm not sure if said lovers are going to run away to Paris, or if they are now, in times of emotional hardship, reminiscing of their best times represented by Paris. I was leaning towards a combination of the 2 options as hinted by lines like "if we go down, we go down together" and "show them we are better". Even though they sing "we were staying in Paris" it didn't seem like it was literal. I researched to see if it was a reference to maybe Casablanca or Paris of Troy who fought bravely for his love, Helena. Looking at the video, however, I did see a little dictionary entry at the beginning that read "paris \pa-rəs\ n 1: a sentimental yearning for a reality that isn't genuine 2: an irrecoverable condition for fantasy that evokes nostalgia or day dreams". This definitely fits the tone of the song, but this definition felt too good to be true. I looked up the definition for Paris in several dictionaries and found nothing, which leads me to believe that The Chainsmokers made the entire thing up. In any other medium, this would've been catastrophic. In music, however, this is fine. Having this dictionary-like visual defining what "Paris" means is them literally explaining to you what the song is about. Paris in the song is a metaphor and not the actual city. This takes the line "we were staying in Paris" a whole different meaning, and with that, the song. It still feels like these lovers are in a time of emotional peril and trying to prove themselves and everyone by reminiscing of better times, but with this definition of Paris, it makes it sound more of a delusion. Is it his, is it hers? Maybe is both of them who yearn for something that is not real and, in denial, try to find it where is not. This is A LOT of emotional depth for The Chainsmokers of all people. I expect this level of songwriting from rock and metal bands writing epics, not the duo who thought "#Selfie" was a good song in ANY way.

http://i1.wp.com/substreammagazine.com/
wp-content/uploads/2017/01/
chainsmokers-paris.jpg?resize=700%2C357

The Chainsmokers, the artist I reviewed for no other reason other than the brand name they now are, have caught me by surprise. Musically, they are terrible. I'm not taking this back. They have an ear for nice riffs but as composers that's all they have. To me, The Chainsmokers are musically equivalent to Eiffel 65's "I'm Blue (Ba Da Dee)". One good riff and no more.  "Closer" is guilty of this deed, and "Paris" is too. Before anyone complains about how "You don't get electronic music because you don't like it in the first place", I do like electronic music. Caravan Place and Alstroemeria Records are 2 great electronic artists I can think of right of the top of my head. The Chainsmokers are just run of the mill mediocre pop sensations. However, I will admit, I did underestimated them as songwriters. I'm very pleasantly surprised to see the level of depth they can get with an admittedly cliche subject matter. My music standards might be at the bottom of the barrel right now, but "Paris" is undoubtedly a step in the right direction for Pop music.

Song Review(s): Castle on the Hill/Shape of You by Ed Sheeran

Everyone, move aside. Ed Sheeran is back. After such a terrible year for music in the mainstream, I am so happy to see that Ed Sheeran is releasing a new album this year. He is such a talented musician and songwriter so I can't wait to see what he has in store for us. Personally, I have a Love/Hate relationship with Mr. Sheeran.

http://www.kiss925.com/wp-content/
uploads/sites/59/2017/01/Ed-Sheeran-1024x576.jpg

On one hand, we have his "sappy" songs ("The A Team", "Lego House", "All of the Stars", "Thinking Out Loud", etc.) which are not bad by any means. For me, they get a little old after a while. Even though they are well written (musically and lyrically), they get a little too sentimental and feels a little cheesy after a certain amount of listens. Listening to these songs is like eating high quality Premium Chocolate: everybody loves it (and with good reason), but too much of it will make you sick. On the other hand, whenever he stays away from that "sappy" sound, Ed Sheeran is more of a Fine French Wine. Some songs in this category are "Sing", "Don't", "You Need Me, I Don't Need You", "Nina", and "Make it Rain" (one of my favorites). Songs like "Thinking Out Loud" restrains him, songs like "Sing" lets him go. You can feel how he has full control and reign over his lyrics and music while in the other songs he has to find a compromise to effectively deliver the song's message. It's a complicated opinion, I know,  but that just further proofs how diverse of a musician he is. I like his work, some significantly more than others. So why all this background? Ed Sheeran released on January 6th 2 songs to promote his new album: "Castle on the Hill" and "Shape of You". These songs couldn't be more perfect to represent the chocolate and the wine.

http://images.complex.com/complex/images/c_limit,w_680/
f_auto,fl_lossy,pg_1,q_auto/ghjtc8mfid3hackk9vjh/
ed-sheeran-castel-hill-shape-of-you

"Castle on the Hill" is the chocolate of the 2 songs. Although, I will admit maybe not the high end brand (maybe more like a Snickers). Lyrically, this song is gorgeous and extremely well written. Like "7 Years" by Lukas Graham, is about life and the passing of time. Unlike "7 Years" is not an ego stroking excuse of a song and it's actually about the passing of time. Throughout the song, Ed sings about moments in his life evoking very vivid images by singing the details in those moments (In the chorus, for example, a line goes "Driving at 90 down those country lanes singing to Tiny Dancer"). His voice carries that nostalgia and desire to go back to those times that weren't all good but still treasured. There's sadness, but happiness as well. "I'm sad they're gone, but glad they happened". A very beautiful and well balanced poem about the bitter and the sweet moments that is life. The problem with this song? Oh boy is this sappy... Think of that time when you drank syrup straight out of the bottle, Remember how your tongue was tingling from the sweetness? I, no joke, got the exact same reaction from this song. The music is very appropriate but I wasn't quite a fan of it. It sounds like a combination of something U2, Mumford & Sons, Coldplay, and One Republic would write. I'm really at a loss of words because the music is not bad. The lyrics and subject matter justify the musical composition, and then again, it is not a bad composition. The more I listen to it, the more I like it, actually (but I feel I'm going to get sick of it pretty quick). It's just bland, I guess. If I knew what the song was about before I heard it I probably would've said "Yeah, of course it sounds like this. What'd you expect?". The galloping kick drum? Check. A soaring synth/keyboard? A-ha. The echo-filled electric guitar? Yep. My problem with this song is that it has nothing interesting in it. I wouldn't mind so much if this were Ed's standard sound, but it isn't. I know that Ed Sheeran is above this, he can do a lot better than this. I know this for a fact, specially since he demonstrated it with his other release.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C1czlrIWEAEyO_T.jpg

"Shape of You" is by far the better song. It has a nice beat and xylophone sounding riff that is very catchy, in a good way. Although, is it me, or does that xylophone riff with that island beat sound a little bit like "Cheap Thrills"? At the very least I noticed that "Cheap Thrills" is on F#m scale while "Shape of You" is on an C#m scale and both of them are on a similar tempo so mashing them up wouldn't be that hard of a task. His work on the backing vocals is outstanding. The harmonies, the hums, the "Oh I, oh I, oh I"-s, Ed's vocal work is simply spectacular and his delivery is pitch perfect.  I'm not sure if this is a love song or a song of a one night stand or a combination of both, but he delivers the right tone. His voice carries a groove that matches the music with a slick confidence. Unlike "Castle on the Hill" this song just gets better with every listen, exactly like wine with each passing year.

Lyrically, as mentioned before, it seems to be about a girl. What started out as a one night stand is evolving into something more. Once again, Sheeran's songwriting is spectacular with a great amount of visual imagery. I wouldn't call this a "love song" because that's not the vibe I'm getting from the lyrics. Story-wise, this song is very similar to Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" where the narrator falls in love with a prostitute. However, in "Rebel Yell" the narrator maybe confusing what he's feeling for love but it is clear that he thinks it's love. In "Shape of You", the narrator seems conflicted with lines like "Push and Pull like a magnet do, although my heart is falling too" and "I'm in love with your body". The narrator is having feelings for the girl, but he is aware that they are purely physical... or are they?  This is what makes the song great. "Rebel Yell" is a good song but "Shape of You" is interesting. There is flavor to uncertainty like this, and furthermore, to an uncertainty so relatable. This song introduces you into a scenario that we all have experienced at some point in our lives. These feelings result in a story very 'Sweet and Sour', and just like the narrator in the song, we want it all. If this is the quality of writing Mr. Sheeran is bringing to us this year, then I can't wait to see what's next.

http://www.mtv.co.uk/sites/default/files/styles/
image-w-1050-h-1050-scale/public/mtv_uk/galleries/large/2016/02/15/
ed-sheeran-gettyimages-134186351.jpg?itok=zoxQ4kWh

A Year End Retrospective: 2016

Good Riddance, 2016!  I think everyone can agree that 2016 was a terrible year, and I've seen people on social media (Facebook, mostly) trying to lighten the mood by sharing videos highlighting all the good moments of 2016. Let's be honest, the year was still terrible. True, there have been good moments throughout the year but the bad outweigh the good. SPECIALLY when it comes to the music.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/
en/d/dc/Justin_Bieber_-_Sorry_(Official_Single_Cover).png

Since I started this blog, I forced myself to pay more attention to the pop charts and the radio. While doing that, I still listened to songs on the internet and playing in public spaces. I can confidently say that in 2016 I've heard hundreds of songs that were released this year. MAYBE 3 of the ones popular in US were good. I chose a terrible year to start reviewing pop music and feel extremely sorry for all the magazines and websites that have to do a Top 10 Best Songs of the Year. The problem with all these songs was that they all seemed "Song-less". Rather than music, a lot of it sounded like Ambiance with a beat. The songs that had some sort of riff and/or melody usually followed the writing skills of Eiffel 65's "Blue (Ba Da Dee)" which is basically repeat a riff from the beginning all the way to the end. Repetition is important in music, I get it. However, it's hard to explain when it's done right without listening to it. The minority of songs that slipped into the Top 100 that sounded like ACTUAL songs had major problems like bad lyrics, singing or subject matter. The other "song-less" songs had the additional problem of sounding like nothing or barely something. "Sorry" by  Justin Bieber is a terrible song with god awful lyrics and a sense of smug arrogance that you know he doesn't mean anything that he is saying. Not to mention that his delivery is not necessarily bad, it's just weird. I'm not a fan of his "under his breath" singing. Zayn's "Pillowtalk" however had a better vocal delivery, the writing was ok (just cliche), and subject matter uninteresting. "Sorry" is still a better song than "Pillowtalk" because at the very least, it sounds like A song.

I'm sure Billboard will do a Top 100 Best Songs of the Year list (if they haven't already) so I'd say just take a look at that and you'll see pretty much everything I hated about this year. The list may include, but not limited to, "Work" by Rihanna (ft. Drake), "Panda" by Desiigner, "Sweatshirt" by Jacob Sartorius, "Work From Home" by Fifth Harmony (ft. Ty Dolla $ign), "Pillowtalk" by Zayn, "7 Years" by Lukas Graham, Meghan Trainor (anything she's in, really), "Treat You Better" by Shawn Mendez, etc. These are songs I absolutely despised. They literally made me sick when I heard them (no, I'm not using "literally" for emphasis. My body really felt nauseous while hearing these songs). However, the grand winner has to be "Work" by Rihanna (ft. Drake). This song sounds awful, she sounds awful, everything is awful in it. It is beyond words. How can people even like this? This is the worst singing I've ever heard, and this includes drunken karaoke. How can you be autotuned out of key? And one thing that pisses me off is that I know Rihanna can be a good singer, so I usually put the blame on Drake because it does sound like more of his song than Rihanna's. You want an example? Listen to Calvin Harris's "This is What You Came For". The worst part of it all is how catchy it is. That chorus will drill into your head just by thinking of it. How did it even get release? Were the producers drunk or high when they gave this song the thumbs up? They were definitely on something.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/b8m9zhNAgKs/maxresdefault.jpg

It wasn't all hate and sickness, though. A lot of the year was simply "meh", mediocre, ok, indifferent, or forgettable. Again, there's a LOT of songs in this category considering that most of pop music in 2016 sounded like people abusing sleeping pills. Some of them are "Black Beatles" by Rae Sremmurd (ft. Gucci Mane), "This is What You Came For" by Calvin Harris (ft. Rihanna), "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake, "24k Magic" by Bruno Mars, and "Ride" and "Heathens" by Twenty One Pilots (I will most likely get myself crucified for these last 2 but save your energies. I might do a Band Overview on Twenty One Pilots later so at least hear me out before you kill me). Again, these songs are not particularly bad, I simply didn't like them, because they were bland, boring, uninteresting, or served as nothing more but background noise. Basically, I don't mind these songs if I'm forced to listen to them. "Closer" by The Chainsmokers (ft. Halsey) is kind of in a gray area for me because I DESPISE this song, but it's entirely for emotional reasons. I can't find a single problem with it when I think about it musically and objectively. I feel the chorus is the only real good part of the song. It's well written and it's a nice melody that carries the emotional climax of the song, as it should. The verses, however, are pretty forgettable as they seem to serve as backstory and nothing more. "Closer" is getting an emotional response from me so it has to be doing something right.

http://www.rap-up.com/wp-content/uploads
/2016/07/jason-derulo-kiss-the-sky.jpg

Where there good songs? Yeah, a couple. "Cheap Thrills" by Sia is probably the first one that comes to mind when I think of this. I hated The Weeknd but his song "Starboy" is growing on me, and so did "One Dance" by Drake (ft. Kyla & Wizkid). Another song that I wasn't sure about but now I really like is "I Took a Pill in Ibiza (Seeb Remix)" by Mike Posner. "Girls Talk Boys" by 5 Seconds of Summer had it's problems but it's still an amazing song. "Kiss the Sky" by Jason Derulo, I heard it in a movie theater and surprised that it didn't even chart in the US (it hit number 9 in New Zealand). WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, USA!? This song should've made AT LEAST the top 10. This song SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING. I love the beat, the bass, the groove. This song makes you feel good, makes me want to dance (and I'm terrible at it). It's just a great song that apparently none of my peers ever heard. So what's the best song in 2016?  "Kishikaisei" by Wagakki-Band. Were you expecting a song from an artist previously featured in the Billboard Hot 100? Well, the songs and artists that make it into the Hot 100 are a "good product" but not good art. There's nothing wrong with commercial art, which is what I think pop music is, but there has to be some sort of quality. I've been rambling on how these songs don't have substance. The reason behind it is because if you make it into the Hot 100, you don't have to proof anything anymore. Artists like Drake, Shawn Mendez, and Rihanna can give us not even the minimum effort and still have a commercial gain because their name and image has become a marketable brand worldwide. Other Bands and Artists around the world don't have this luxury of writing a lazy song and call it "Avant Garde" and be popular. This is why, the best song in 2016 is NOT a song featured in the Hot 100.  "Kishikaisei" translates to "Resuscitation" and that is literally what it feels like listening to this song. Not only is it one of the best written, best composed, best produced, and most unique sounding songs I've heard this year, but it also has an outstanding amount of energy that after time in this wasteland of the barely living corpses of pop music it brings you back  ready to face the challenges ahead. It is too bad that the song was not as popular as any of the songs listed above. After such a terrible year, a resurrection is exactly what we need to move towards a better future.

https://prtimes.jp/i/23192/1/origin/d23192-1-694656-0.jpg