Song Review: Paris by The Chainsmokers

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Hello everyone and welcome back to reviewing mediocre pop charting music! Last week I was excited to look and see Ed Sheeran's name back in the Top 10. To my surprise not only was he not even in the Hot 100, but "Treat You Better" (Shawn Mendez's blatant rip-off of his slightly better yet still terrible other hit "Stitches") is on the 23rd spot and "Juju on that Beat (Tz Anthem)" is #11 on the charts. I bashed my head against my desk for 15 minutes (I'm not joking) in hopes of escaping the realization that this is what humanity has come to become.  Fortunately, my prayers had been answered and "Shape of You" is now sitting in it's righteous pop chart throne. I'm not going to review the #1 song in the country because I already reviewed it, nor will I review the second biggest song in the country "Bad and Boujee" by Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert (which by the way, as a song is better than the rest generic rap but it's still terrible). Instead, I'm going to review the newest release by one of last year's biggest acts: "Paris" by The Chainsmokers. Why did I make this decision? First, the name. I asked some friends who should I review next and no one knew who Migos was, but they all liked The Chainsmokers. Secondly, after listening both songs, "Paris" is slightly more interesting than "Bad and Boujee" (and just like with Shawn Mendez, "slightly" meaning "barely").

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I don't know how many times you can say something is dull before it gets, well, dull. Music is 2016 was so bad I feel my standards for new music have been significantly lower in desperate attempts to grab whatever I can find. At least in American mainstream, the music scene was either dull ambiance with a beat which were too boring to get ANYTHING out of, or songs that actually sounded like something and sucked. So pick your poison. "Paris" is a continuation of this thread and, probably because my bar has been set so low, I don't mind it. It has more energy than most songs in 2016 and just like "Closer" it has more lyrical depth than most songs in 2016. Musically, however, there's a lot of a clutter in this song. There's too much going on and its not letting anything breath. I can't hear what the piano is trying to play, for instance. I know it's a slight variation of the 4 Chords of Pop structure (D-A-Bm-G), but when I figured out the bassline the chord progression seems to be G-Bm-A-F#m. And when I play it with the song, I can play G-D-A-Bm, G-D-Bm-A, G-Bm-A-F#m, G-Bm-A-F#/D, etc. Basically, any variation of the 4 Chords structure will sound good if you play it in the song, that's how much noise there is. I've tried to find 1 variant that sounds completely off  and couldn't find it as long as it starts with G. What am I trying to say here? Not only is this song uninspired but cluttered, almost as if The Chainsmokers knew how uncreative this song is and tried to hide with tons of tracks, sounds, riffs, and beats. Another problem that everyone has beaten until death is how they CAN'T sing. No exception here. The voice sounds sore, as if they physically can't sing. I will let this pass, however, because this has been a complaint in a lot of their songs. At this point, is not a matter of vocal talent anymore, that's just their sound. To me is like complaining about Bob Dylan's voice or Jimmy Hendrix's wah-wah and distortion. If you don't like it, that's fine, but that's their sound and changing it would result in a completely different artist. Any positives? Despite The Chainsmokers's inability to sing, I do like the vocal melodies and every time I listen to the song the more these riffs and melodies grow on me. They are very catchy but not "Closer" catchy. "Closer" will latch to your brain for days like a merciless parasite despite the verses being so forgettable. "Paris" is not that catchy but as a whole it is a better constructed song.

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The music was very uninteresting, but the lyrics did catch my eye. The song has a "desperate lovers" vibe, but I'm not sure if said lovers are going to run away to Paris, or if they are now, in times of emotional hardship, reminiscing of their best times represented by Paris. I was leaning towards a combination of the 2 options as hinted by lines like "if we go down, we go down together" and "show them we are better". Even though they sing "we were staying in Paris" it didn't seem like it was literal. I researched to see if it was a reference to maybe Casablanca or Paris of Troy who fought bravely for his love, Helena. Looking at the video, however, I did see a little dictionary entry at the beginning that read "paris \pa-rəs\ n 1: a sentimental yearning for a reality that isn't genuine 2: an irrecoverable condition for fantasy that evokes nostalgia or day dreams". This definitely fits the tone of the song, but this definition felt too good to be true. I looked up the definition for Paris in several dictionaries and found nothing, which leads me to believe that The Chainsmokers made the entire thing up. In any other medium, this would've been catastrophic. In music, however, this is fine. Having this dictionary-like visual defining what "Paris" means is them literally explaining to you what the song is about. Paris in the song is a metaphor and not the actual city. This takes the line "we were staying in Paris" a whole different meaning, and with that, the song. It still feels like these lovers are in a time of emotional peril and trying to prove themselves and everyone by reminiscing of better times, but with this definition of Paris, it makes it sound more of a delusion. Is it his, is it hers? Maybe is both of them who yearn for something that is not real and, in denial, try to find it where is not. This is A LOT of emotional depth for The Chainsmokers of all people. I expect this level of songwriting from rock and metal bands writing epics, not the duo who thought "#Selfie" was a good song in ANY way.

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The Chainsmokers, the artist I reviewed for no other reason other than the brand name they now are, have caught me by surprise. Musically, they are terrible. I'm not taking this back. They have an ear for nice riffs but as composers that's all they have. To me, The Chainsmokers are musically equivalent to Eiffel 65's "I'm Blue (Ba Da Dee)". One good riff and no more.  "Closer" is guilty of this deed, and "Paris" is too. Before anyone complains about how "You don't get electronic music because you don't like it in the first place", I do like electronic music. Caravan Place and Alstroemeria Records are 2 great electronic artists I can think of right of the top of my head. The Chainsmokers are just run of the mill mediocre pop sensations. However, I will admit, I did underestimated them as songwriters. I'm very pleasantly surprised to see the level of depth they can get with an admittedly cliche subject matter. My music standards might be at the bottom of the barrel right now, but "Paris" is undoubtedly a step in the right direction for Pop music.

Song Review(s): Castle on the Hill/Shape of You by Ed Sheeran

Everyone, move aside. Ed Sheeran is back. After such a terrible year for music in the mainstream, I am so happy to see that Ed Sheeran is releasing a new album this year. He is such a talented musician and songwriter so I can't wait to see what he has in store for us. Personally, I have a Love/Hate relationship with Mr. Sheeran.

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On one hand, we have his "sappy" songs ("The A Team", "Lego House", "All of the Stars", "Thinking Out Loud", etc.) which are not bad by any means. For me, they get a little old after a while. Even though they are well written (musically and lyrically), they get a little too sentimental and feels a little cheesy after a certain amount of listens. Listening to these songs is like eating high quality Premium Chocolate: everybody loves it (and with good reason), but too much of it will make you sick. On the other hand, whenever he stays away from that "sappy" sound, Ed Sheeran is more of a Fine French Wine. Some songs in this category are "Sing", "Don't", "You Need Me, I Don't Need You", "Nina", and "Make it Rain" (one of my favorites). Songs like "Thinking Out Loud" restrains him, songs like "Sing" lets him go. You can feel how he has full control and reign over his lyrics and music while in the other songs he has to find a compromise to effectively deliver the song's message. It's a complicated opinion, I know,  but that just further proofs how diverse of a musician he is. I like his work, some significantly more than others. So why all this background? Ed Sheeran released on January 6th 2 songs to promote his new album: "Castle on the Hill" and "Shape of You". These songs couldn't be more perfect to represent the chocolate and the wine.

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"Castle on the Hill" is the chocolate of the 2 songs. Although, I will admit maybe not the high end brand (maybe more like a Snickers). Lyrically, this song is gorgeous and extremely well written. Like "7 Years" by Lukas Graham, is about life and the passing of time. Unlike "7 Years" is not an ego stroking excuse of a song and it's actually about the passing of time. Throughout the song, Ed sings about moments in his life evoking very vivid images by singing the details in those moments (In the chorus, for example, a line goes "Driving at 90 down those country lanes singing to Tiny Dancer"). His voice carries that nostalgia and desire to go back to those times that weren't all good but still treasured. There's sadness, but happiness as well. "I'm sad they're gone, but glad they happened". A very beautiful and well balanced poem about the bitter and the sweet moments that is life. The problem with this song? Oh boy is this sappy... Think of that time when you drank syrup straight out of the bottle, Remember how your tongue was tingling from the sweetness? I, no joke, got the exact same reaction from this song. The music is very appropriate but I wasn't quite a fan of it. It sounds like a combination of something U2, Mumford & Sons, Coldplay, and One Republic would write. I'm really at a loss of words because the music is not bad. The lyrics and subject matter justify the musical composition, and then again, it is not a bad composition. The more I listen to it, the more I like it, actually (but I feel I'm going to get sick of it pretty quick). It's just bland, I guess. If I knew what the song was about before I heard it I probably would've said "Yeah, of course it sounds like this. What'd you expect?". The galloping kick drum? Check. A soaring synth/keyboard? A-ha. The echo-filled electric guitar? Yep. My problem with this song is that it has nothing interesting in it. I wouldn't mind so much if this were Ed's standard sound, but it isn't. I know that Ed Sheeran is above this, he can do a lot better than this. I know this for a fact, specially since he demonstrated it with his other release.

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"Shape of You" is by far the better song. It has a nice beat and xylophone sounding riff that is very catchy, in a good way. Although, is it me, or does that xylophone riff with that island beat sound a little bit like "Cheap Thrills"? At the very least I noticed that "Cheap Thrills" is on F#m scale while "Shape of You" is on an C#m scale and both of them are on a similar tempo so mashing them up wouldn't be that hard of a task. His work on the backing vocals is outstanding. The harmonies, the hums, the "Oh I, oh I, oh I"-s, Ed's vocal work is simply spectacular and his delivery is pitch perfect.  I'm not sure if this is a love song or a song of a one night stand or a combination of both, but he delivers the right tone. His voice carries a groove that matches the music with a slick confidence. Unlike "Castle on the Hill" this song just gets better with every listen, exactly like wine with each passing year.

Lyrically, as mentioned before, it seems to be about a girl. What started out as a one night stand is evolving into something more. Once again, Sheeran's songwriting is spectacular with a great amount of visual imagery. I wouldn't call this a "love song" because that's not the vibe I'm getting from the lyrics. Story-wise, this song is very similar to Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" where the narrator falls in love with a prostitute. However, in "Rebel Yell" the narrator maybe confusing what he's feeling for love but it is clear that he thinks it's love. In "Shape of You", the narrator seems conflicted with lines like "Push and Pull like a magnet do, although my heart is falling too" and "I'm in love with your body". The narrator is having feelings for the girl, but he is aware that they are purely physical... or are they?  This is what makes the song great. "Rebel Yell" is a good song but "Shape of You" is interesting. There is flavor to uncertainty like this, and furthermore, to an uncertainty so relatable. This song introduces you into a scenario that we all have experienced at some point in our lives. These feelings result in a story very 'Sweet and Sour', and just like the narrator in the song, we want it all. If this is the quality of writing Mr. Sheeran is bringing to us this year, then I can't wait to see what's next.

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A Year End Retrospective: 2016

Good Riddance, 2016!  I think everyone can agree that 2016 was a terrible year, and I've seen people on social media (Facebook, mostly) trying to lighten the mood by sharing videos highlighting all the good moments of 2016. Let's be honest, the year was still terrible. True, there have been good moments throughout the year but the bad outweigh the good. SPECIALLY when it comes to the music.

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Since I started this blog, I forced myself to pay more attention to the pop charts and the radio. While doing that, I still listened to songs on the internet and playing in public spaces. I can confidently say that in 2016 I've heard hundreds of songs that were released this year. MAYBE 3 of the ones popular in US were good. I chose a terrible year to start reviewing pop music and feel extremely sorry for all the magazines and websites that have to do a Top 10 Best Songs of the Year. The problem with all these songs was that they all seemed "Song-less". Rather than music, a lot of it sounded like Ambiance with a beat. The songs that had some sort of riff and/or melody usually followed the writing skills of Eiffel 65's "Blue (Ba Da Dee)" which is basically repeat a riff from the beginning all the way to the end. Repetition is important in music, I get it. However, it's hard to explain when it's done right without listening to it. The minority of songs that slipped into the Top 100 that sounded like ACTUAL songs had major problems like bad lyrics, singing or subject matter. The other "song-less" songs had the additional problem of sounding like nothing or barely something. "Sorry" by  Justin Bieber is a terrible song with god awful lyrics and a sense of smug arrogance that you know he doesn't mean anything that he is saying. Not to mention that his delivery is not necessarily bad, it's just weird. I'm not a fan of his "under his breath" singing. Zayn's "Pillowtalk" however had a better vocal delivery, the writing was ok (just cliche), and subject matter uninteresting. "Sorry" is still a better song than "Pillowtalk" because at the very least, it sounds like A song.

I'm sure Billboard will do a Top 100 Best Songs of the Year list (if they haven't already) so I'd say just take a look at that and you'll see pretty much everything I hated about this year. The list may include, but not limited to, "Work" by Rihanna (ft. Drake), "Panda" by Desiigner, "Sweatshirt" by Jacob Sartorius, "Work From Home" by Fifth Harmony (ft. Ty Dolla $ign), "Pillowtalk" by Zayn, "7 Years" by Lukas Graham, Meghan Trainor (anything she's in, really), "Treat You Better" by Shawn Mendez, etc. These are songs I absolutely despised. They literally made me sick when I heard them (no, I'm not using "literally" for emphasis. My body really felt nauseous while hearing these songs). However, the grand winner has to be "Work" by Rihanna (ft. Drake). This song sounds awful, she sounds awful, everything is awful in it. It is beyond words. How can people even like this? This is the worst singing I've ever heard, and this includes drunken karaoke. How can you be autotuned out of key? And one thing that pisses me off is that I know Rihanna can be a good singer, so I usually put the blame on Drake because it does sound like more of his song than Rihanna's. You want an example? Listen to Calvin Harris's "This is What You Came For". The worst part of it all is how catchy it is. That chorus will drill into your head just by thinking of it. How did it even get release? Were the producers drunk or high when they gave this song the thumbs up? They were definitely on something.

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It wasn't all hate and sickness, though. A lot of the year was simply "meh", mediocre, ok, indifferent, or forgettable. Again, there's a LOT of songs in this category considering that most of pop music in 2016 sounded like people abusing sleeping pills. Some of them are "Black Beatles" by Rae Sremmurd (ft. Gucci Mane), "This is What You Came For" by Calvin Harris (ft. Rihanna), "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake, "24k Magic" by Bruno Mars, and "Ride" and "Heathens" by Twenty One Pilots (I will most likely get myself crucified for these last 2 but save your energies. I might do a Band Overview on Twenty One Pilots later so at least hear me out before you kill me). Again, these songs are not particularly bad, I simply didn't like them, because they were bland, boring, uninteresting, or served as nothing more but background noise. Basically, I don't mind these songs if I'm forced to listen to them. "Closer" by The Chainsmokers (ft. Halsey) is kind of in a gray area for me because I DESPISE this song, but it's entirely for emotional reasons. I can't find a single problem with it when I think about it musically and objectively. I feel the chorus is the only real good part of the song. It's well written and it's a nice melody that carries the emotional climax of the song, as it should. The verses, however, are pretty forgettable as they seem to serve as backstory and nothing more. "Closer" is getting an emotional response from me so it has to be doing something right.

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Where there good songs? Yeah, a couple. "Cheap Thrills" by Sia is probably the first one that comes to mind when I think of this. I hated The Weeknd but his song "Starboy" is growing on me, and so did "One Dance" by Drake (ft. Kyla & Wizkid). Another song that I wasn't sure about but now I really like is "I Took a Pill in Ibiza (Seeb Remix)" by Mike Posner. "Girls Talk Boys" by 5 Seconds of Summer had it's problems but it's still an amazing song. "Kiss the Sky" by Jason Derulo, I heard it in a movie theater and surprised that it didn't even chart in the US (it hit number 9 in New Zealand). WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, USA!? This song should've made AT LEAST the top 10. This song SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING. I love the beat, the bass, the groove. This song makes you feel good, makes me want to dance (and I'm terrible at it). It's just a great song that apparently none of my peers ever heard. So what's the best song in 2016?  "Kishikaisei" by Wagakki-Band. Were you expecting a song from an artist previously featured in the Billboard Hot 100? Well, the songs and artists that make it into the Hot 100 are a "good product" but not good art. There's nothing wrong with commercial art, which is what I think pop music is, but there has to be some sort of quality. I've been rambling on how these songs don't have substance. The reason behind it is because if you make it into the Hot 100, you don't have to proof anything anymore. Artists like Drake, Shawn Mendez, and Rihanna can give us not even the minimum effort and still have a commercial gain because their name and image has become a marketable brand worldwide. Other Bands and Artists around the world don't have this luxury of writing a lazy song and call it "Avant Garde" and be popular. This is why, the best song in 2016 is NOT a song featured in the Hot 100.  "Kishikaisei" translates to "Resuscitation" and that is literally what it feels like listening to this song. Not only is it one of the best written, best composed, best produced, and most unique sounding songs I've heard this year, but it also has an outstanding amount of energy that after time in this wasteland of the barely living corpses of pop music it brings you back  ready to face the challenges ahead. It is too bad that the song was not as popular as any of the songs listed above. After such a terrible year, a resurrection is exactly what we need to move towards a better future.

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Song Review: Black Beatles by Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane

This song is just wow... I was looking at the Billboard Hot 100 and for a while, nothing but that audio garbage of "Closer" was on the #1 Spot until now. This song was no where near the #1 spot and out of nowhere Rae Sremmurd moved The Weeknd, The Chainsmokers, Twenty-One Pilots, Arianna Grande, AND Bruno Mars out of the way and is now sitting on the Pop Chart throne. I think The Chainsmokers suck, The Weeknd is "eh", and Twenty-One Pilots is overrated, but regardless of what I think of them, these people are GIANTS. "Closer" by The Chainsmokers has been at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 for about 12 weeks! This song knock everyone out of the way, it must be REALLY GOOD. It's not.

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"Black Beatles" by Rae Sremmurd is terrible, in fact. I am very tired of this lame watered down Hip-Hop/R&B. "Black Beatles" suffer from what I now call "The 2016 Syndrome": Boring, repetitive beat, unoriginal, soft music that can be use as elevator music, a singer that can't sing, and a guest artist to carry the weight the artist can't. The sad part, is that right before the beat kicks in, it almost sounds like you'll get something actually good. When the drum machine starts you realize is the exact same worthless waste of airwaves we've been getting throughout 2015 and 2016. It's hard to me to talk about these songs because there's not much to talk about. Musically speaking, this song is extremely boring with no energy, it has some synth and keyboards, a drum machine, and all on a loop as Rae Sremmurd and Gucci Mane rap on top of it. Now, this has nothing to do with the song itself, but this is a huge pet peeve of mine with this song. In the music video, they pretend to be famous rock stars living the life of "Drugs, Sex, and Rock n' Roll".Now, keeping in mind the theme of the song and The Beatles reference that's to be expected, except that this song sounds like those ambiance soundtracks you go to sleep to... with a drum beat! And they pretend to be playing!? The only thing you have in the song are drums and synth and you are playing a guitar and a bass!? Again, this is a pet peeve and has nothing to do with the actual quality of the song, but as a guitarist and a prospective filmmaker, I feel insulted when I watch this video.

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Lyric wise, the song is about being awesome and hatters gonna hate and screw the hatters, you know, generic rap lyrics that we've heard a billion times before? The only real difference is that they compare themselves to The Beatles which by the way, what have The Beatles ever do to you? Are Paul and Ringo part of those hatters you are trying to disgrace? The flow these two guys have is good, I guess. As good as you would expect from a beat so weak. It sounds just like many other songs we've had this year, there's nothing special to say except after the third chorus. Right after the line "Don't fuck with me, I'll break your heart, baby" is just a wonderful display of energy, flow, and rhymes that has been missing from mainstream music for a long time. I am unsure who is rapping those lines but damn we need more of him doing stuff like that. Those lines between the 3rd and the 4th chorus are the only good thing about this song.

I think this song is terrible, but I also think that 95% of the 2016 Pop charts are terrible abominations in music history. This is not the worst song ever, is simply dull, boring, and like everything else we've heard this year. I wouldn't be surprised if the reason this song got popular was because people thought it was someone else, or the simple Beatles reference. This is the type of music that made me give up on any kind of mainstream Pop in the USA.

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Song Review: Girls Talk Boys by 5 Seconds of Summer

I apologize for not posting anything in a while, but I've been quite busy with school and until now I have a break. For a while, I've been meaning to talk about this song, to be completely honest. It's kind of late, but it won't matter.

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I think it's pretty clear how I feel about this band since I did a Band overview on them. As I learned more about them, I will admit, I wouldn't want to call them a Boy Band. I understand the superficiality of the term and the members of 5Sos do not have a "Boy Band attitude" towards their music. With that said, they are making it really, really hard for the fans in general to defend them. As pointed out in my Artist Overview, 5Sos has progressively gone more Pop as their career moves forward. While their self titled "5 Seconds of Summer" Album was a good mix of Punk, Rock, and Pop, their follow up "Sounds Good, Feels Good" sounded less like Green Day and more like One Direction with guitars. I did not realized they released a new single until not so long ago called "Girls Talk Boys" and my previous theory about them going Pop was proven completely and totally, without any spec of doubt, absolutely right. "Girls Talk Boys" is way better than any of their songs in "Sounds Good, Feels Good" by a huge margin (with the exceptions of a few songs), yet this song is also by far the most "Pop" they've ever manage to be so far.

First and furthermost, this song is amazing. I love the groove. This is definitely a brilliant combination of Rock, Funk, and Pop. The steady, hard hitting drums and interaction between that groovy bass and guitars are simply wonderful. I don't know what to say about this song, it's just so tight and perfect... with the exception of the vocals and the pre-chorus. "Girls Talk Boys" starts off sounding like Bruno Mars (specifically Uptown Funk). It's groovy, it's funky, but it's also rock. However, as the song progresses and they begin to sing, 5Sos sound exactly like One Direction, and yet right before the pre-chorus, they revive the Bee Gees (circa 1977), only to go full on Calvin Harris on the pre-chorus. This is what I mean when I say that it's getting harder to not call 5Sos a Boy Band. The way they sing this song is so eerily reminiscent of One Direction that I could edit this song into a 1D music video and I don't think anyone would notice the difference. When they go high, and sound more like the Bee Gees, it fits more into the groove of the song rather than the preteen vocal work they were going for. The first time listening, it is very awkward to hear such a 1D-like vocal work and melodies in such a tight, funky song that is obviously deserving of a lot more. Where it really goes south for me is the pre-chorus. It sounds so generically pop. If I caught that one part on the radio and listened to nothing but the pre-chorus of the song, I would have never guess this is 5Sos. As mentioned before, I would assume it'd be Calvin Harris (mainly), the Chainsmokers or some other dumb generic DJ. I love this song, but in the sense of the band's growth this feels like both a step forward and a step backwards at the same time.

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On to the lyrics. These are the worst and most Boy Band-ish lyrics 5Sos can and will possibly sing. The Chorus is stupid. I wouldn't know how to write a chorus for this song, but repeating "When the Girls, When the Girls Talk Boys, When the Girls Talk Boys" is not acceptable lyrical work for a band like 5Sos. When the girls talk boys... what? What do they say? What do you think they say? Why do you care? When the girls talk boys what, dammit! This is not even a sentence! The rest of the verses in the song are at least complete ideas, or ideas that are eventually completed by the end of the stanza. However, these are very One Direction-ish love song lyrics. I hate to keep bringing 1D up but it's just the best comparison. I am guessing the narrator is talking to either his girlfriend or the girl he likes and wants to know what she talks about with her friends. And because this guy is a self centered douche, it has to be about him. "When you talk to your girls, do you talk about me? Do you say that I'm a sweetheart, do you say that I'm a freak"? I mean, you could interpret the song as a guy being nervous about what his girlfriend is saying about him behind his back. Are they good things? However, the way this song is being sung is way too confident to be about insecurity of your reputation. I'll probably get a lot of hate for this, but this is an Uptown Funk/One Direction mashup. There is no way around it.

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Is the song good? Totally. The lyrics are a bit too sleazy and douche-y for me and the vocal melody isn't the best 5Sos has to offer, but the music is good enough to make me ignore the song's flaws. But the problem was never on 5Sos's music, is their persona and their image, and this song is a perfect reflection of that. If you want to sound something like a combination of Rock and Pop, that's fine. I find Punk Rock to be a very limiting genre, so I'm all for 5Sos expanding their sound like they did in "Girls Talk Boys". Embrace your Pop sound, expand your horizons and sounds. However, quit trying to call or portray yourself as something you are clearly not.

Artist Overview: Hailey Knox

My second request came to me in the form of a Facebook post shared with me. A friend of mine sent this post of a New York Radio Station talking about a young New York artist named Hailey Knox. To quote the publication, "She's the living proof that World Class Rock is alive and well in New York's Back Yard" and I, honestly, couldn't disagree more. If Hailey Knox is considered "Rock", then we can safely say that Rock music as part of the social consciousness is dead. However, false advertising or trying to keep a genre on life support by using the term as loosely as possible, is not what is of relevance, but whether is Hailey Knox any good or not. Is she?

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I'll dive straight into her music because I can't find any information about her, so I can't tell you who she is. It seems she is mostly a YouTuber who got a chance to release an album and got a record deal with S-Curve Records and I'll be honest and straightforward: I am unimpressed. Before I trash talk Hailey, let's give credit where credit is due. She has talent as a guitar player and singer and if she writes her own music (which it seems she does) then she is also a talented song writer. The first song I've heard was a live version of "Geeks" and is very bluesy and honestly I love it (both the live version and the studio version). In both versions it has a solid guitar work, finger picking mostly, which gives it a very chill and distinct sound. In the studio version there is a string ensemble which honestly I find completely unnecessary because they bring nothing to the song. There is no fill, no build-up, in general, no need for the strings. Her song "Awkward" is more generic a pop song. While I feel is better put together than "Geeks" is less distinguishable and could be song by anyone. It sounds like another collaboration between Clean Bandit and Jess Glyne, or like a watered down Kelly Clarkson song (which for the record, being compared to Kelly Clarkson is not a compliment). While I'm still with "Awkward" I probably should point out that this video is either a Rip-off or a tribute of Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues". Considering that these songs have no apparent relationship, I find it suspicious.

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Other songs in her album "A Little Awkward" are not bad, but pretty forgettable. They are catchy enough to get stuck in your head for about 2 minutes after the song ends but that's about it. "Loopty Loop" is alright, "My Worst Enemy" is more of a lounge guitar  ballad. Honestly, this is what "Geeks" should've been like (studio). It's good but not extraordinaire but certainly a song where Hailey took advantage of her strong points. "Take it or Leave it" is just, uh... Let's just skip this one. Although the chorus is the best part of the song thanks mostly to baseline. It reminds me of a song by Mägo de Oz named "Al-Mejandria" which the song is pretty much forgettable but the chorus hits you so hard that you get sucked in the instant it kicks in, but unlike "Al-Mejandria" I don't think the chorus is enough to save this song.

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Lyrically? Personality? What is Hailey's persona? Well, I've seen this shtick before. To put it simple, Hailey Knox is to Blues what Tatlor Swift was to Country. Her appeal is the "geeky girl next door" and I've seen this before. In fact, as soon as I first saw her, Taylor Swift jumped right into my head (which is not necessarily a bad thing). She at the very least she is trying to do something different than her Pop Music Peers, and I say that because the rest of her YouTube page are pop covers and the only information I found is that she is labeled, indeed, as "Pop" (yes, the radio station is a total liar) and lately pop music has been a snore after an other. Not that Hailey's music is particularly intense or anything but at least sounds like music that's not from a supermarket, an elevator, or a hotel lobby (well, for the most part). Her songs do have a chill and relaxed vibe, but because of the writing, the subject maters, and the style and influences in her music, it works.
Just like "One Dance", even if I fall asleep listening to this, is the subject matter that allows that "low energy" to work in favor of the song and not against it.

Hailey Knox hasn't released much but I think it's pretty solid for her first album. I don't know if I'd be eager to listen to what she releases next, but I would certainly not mind to get her in the Pop charts instead of other artists like Shawn Mendez, Drake, Justin Bieber, The Chainsmokers, or any bloody twat that gets a hit song because of stupid Vines, just to name a few. Hailey is not my cup of tea, but she definitely deserves more recognition and a thumbs up!

Song Review: Sweatshirt by Jacob Sartorius

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For the first time, I've actually gotten 2 requests to make a review. One is going to be an Artist Overview and the other one would be this one: a song review that honestly I wish I hadn't accepted. I said that I wanted to get outside of Asia in my reviews for a change and I think I did a pretty good job, specially since not all reviews have been bad. In fact, only Zayn's song "Pillowtalk" have had a negative review since I made this switch. Today we've broken this streak and oh boy what a song to do so. The song in question would be "Sweatshirt" by 13 year old vine star Jacob Sartorius.

So, there's no way around it, the song is awful. I actually feel ashamed to have it in my internet browsing history. I would rather the FBI, my family, friends, ex-girlfriends, etc, see what type of porn I've looked into other than letting them know that I've actually listened to this song for 1.03 seconds. There is no excuse for it. Asking "what is wrong with it" would not be a useful question since "all of it" would be the answer, but let's dissect this for a moment. There's a term for musical mediocrity that I have adopted from Mr. Todd in the Shadows called "White Guy with Acoustic Guitar" (it's not literal, you don't need to be white or play an acoustic guitar to be a "White Guy with Acoustic Guitar") which is when someone tries to pretend to be sentimental and/or meaningful through lazy gimmicks. In his own words: "As long as you're a lazy, shallow, self-absorbed douche who writes songs that pretends to be sensitive, you too can be a White Guy with Acoustic Guitar". This means that there are "White Guy with Acoustic Guitar" Songs ("7 Years" by Lukas Graham, "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars, "Little Things by One Direction, "Stitches" by Shawn Mendez, etc.) and "White Guy with Acoustic Guitar" Players (Whenever that football player or frat bro who thinks he can play guitar plays "Wonderwall" or "Piano Man").
"Sweatshirt" to me it's a perfect example of a "White Guy with Acoustic Guitar" song. The first thing you hear is a guitar strumming and for the sake of this review I did learn this song on my guitar and let me tell you, 3 chords is all you need in it. I am not saying that every guitar song has to be complex but E, A and B, capo on the 3rd fret, is just plain lazy. So, the guitar sucks because it reeks of laziness, and the beats make it sound "hip" because this is what them kids like, right? The autotuned vocals which any person with decent singing abilities could be able to sing without are there too. There's a little synth riff in the chorus which honestly is not that bad and it is kinda catchy, keeping the juvenile vibe that this kid obviously is trying to cash in on. Which if I had to say something positive about it, at least the song is not trying to be something it's not (for the most part). This prepubescent kid is not pretending to be this badass baller swagger sex god (for the most part). It's a 13 year old singing a love song that sounds that was written by an 11 year old. Other than that there is really not much to say. This is a mediocre song that sounds mediocre with mediocre vocals, mediocre synth, guitar, beats, overall mediocre instrumentation, mediocre songwriting and God Dammit I haven't even talked about the lyrics yet.

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God do these lyrics make me cringe. So, remember those "for the most part" I typed? Well, when I said that the song wasn't pretending to be something it's not, that's until you listen to the lyrics.While the song is exactly what you expect from a talentless prepubescent hack, Jacob is trying so hard to write a love song while sucking his own "ego". Lines like "You can think about me all night long" and "So, baby, if you're not ready for my kiss then you can wear my sweatshirt" just make me want to puke and punch this kid in the face. Honestly, I feel like this is the middle school version of "Blurred Lines". You can hear "I know you want it" all over these lyrics. Probably this song was intended as a "desperate plea of a gentleman fighting for his fair maiden", but who am I kidding? That was me trying to be fair, there is no lyric in this song that indicates that this kid doesn't want to get into this girl's pants and nothing more. For those who say "that is disgusting, he's 13" well, he has forced a "fan" (I guess?) to send him nudes, and there are screenshots of it on the twitter account of the girl herself. So there's that.

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Jacob Sartorius  is another musical celebrity (I refuse to call him an artist or a singer) that they are just god awful in their annoyance and immaturity, like Silento or Rebecca Black, but he reminds me, actually, of another musical cancer that debuted in 2010. In fact, even the songs in which this artist debuted was this bad. Yes, I am talking about the one and only Justin Bieber. As a musician and music critic, I am aware that I must hate Bieber at all costs, but in this case, I am actually going to defend him. The comparisons between Jacob and Bieber to me are almost impossible to ignore. From the attitude, the song, the debut, the age, everything seemed familiar to me, the difference being mostly the success of said debut song (and other minor differences). "Baby" by Justin Bieber is a much better song, by far. Sure, it had more writers including Bieber but this allowed for the final product to be a more "revised" version, so to speak. The only credited writer in "Sweatshirt" is Rolf Sartorius which is the birth name of Jacob Sartorius (his first name), his father, and grandfather so I don't know who to blame for this. The lyrics in "Baby" while the opening line are as egocentrical as "Sweatshirt", someone still makes it cute, because the focus is on Bieber's feelings and how this girl broke his heart, not on how awesome I am and how lending you MY stuff is THE blessing of the Gods. As a love song, it works because it focuses on Feelings and not Ego. Also, "Baby" feels juvenile as well, and the song still stays in the theme not creating a disconnect between singer and subject matter. Even Ludacris in his rap verse understands the subject matter and tells a story of his first crush. "Sweatshirt" just feels like his trying too hard to be a Swagger Ladies Man, and even the sweatshirt in the story feels more like an innuendo the more you think about it.

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Also, "Baby" was catchy. I haven't heard it in years and only the mention of it got me singing it in my head. I couldn't be able to even hum "Sweatshirt" to you even if my life depended on it. Songs like "One Dance", "Watch Me", "Hotline Bling", "Baby", and even "Friday" work as pop songs because they stick in your consciousness so you remember them whether you like it or not. In a way, the songs become a part of your life and become a part of the social consciousness. Don't get me wrong, most of the songs I just mentioned I think are awful, but I remember them. A pop song's success is not measured by quality and longevity, but by notoriety, commercial results, and presence (airplay, per say). And to achieve this, the song must be, at the very least, catchy because that'll make it at least memorable enough to be imprinted in Pop Music History. As mentioned before, "Sweatshirt" is not catchy. The moment I stop listening to it, I forget about it, and just as forgettable is the singer himself. Which, fortunately would mean that this little pukestain wouldn't have the staying power to last a life-long music career. However, I hate to break it to you, but this song did chart on number 90 in the Billboard Hot 100 which honestly, for being the first song you've ever released is not too bad, which makes me fear that the worse is yet to come. Is this the second coming of Bieber? Is this song the first chime of the Bells of the Apocalypse of the music world? Is this the end of New good music in popular media?